Blaming 2020 for your failures won’t change your life
“My life is a mess but it’s not my fault!”
Have you ever listened to people complaining for their failures? If yes, how many of them had the opinion that they could change their life? It’s always the same thing: “I was unlucky; it’s not my fault; my job is sh*t; I’ve done nothing good in my life…” and the list of self-pity affirmations could be even longer. I was one of them, and actually, I still may be one of them sometimes.
Actually, it bothers me a lot hearing people who always complain about their situation. This year has been difficult for everyone, this is true, but thinking that switching to 1st January 2021 will solve all your problems, is purely a false hope. I’ve been reading almost everyday on social networks that 2020 s*cks, but is it because of 2020 that many people lost their job? Is it because of 2020 that I haven’t found any employment yet? Of course losing your job is frustrating and it does not necessarily depend on you, but it is your responsibility to move on and find another employment. Until you blame external factors to have negatively influeced your life, you won’t recognize that the power to improve your life is only yours.
I lived in Austria for six years and I’ve always claimed that I was very unlucky on the process of getting a position. I did several jobs, mostly part-time, I tried to take every chance I was offered to, but I acknowledged only last year that I did two main mistakes: I persevered to live a life in the wrong place for me (and I knew it!), and I kept to tell myself those self-pity affirmations I mentioned at the beginning of this article. I was very frustrated when I lived there and I decided to sacrifice my happiness because of another person. Guess what? My relationship with him failed. Now I live in Italy, and I am not satisfied with my life at all. I had to move back to my parents, in my small hometown, finish my MA’s thesis and graduate. This year I met my boyfriend, and I am very happy with him (otherwise we wouldn’t be together) but until I start my own career, I cannot move out (which is an essential factor for me). Even though I was not able to reach the goals that I established for this year, I cannot blame the year itself for my current situation. I take responsibility for my actions (staying in the wrong place too long, for example) and I know that my past decisions influenced the person I am now. Perhaps without the pandemic it would have been easier to find a job, but what can I do against it? Criticize 2020 for being again at home with my parents won’t open me any doors.
I am always very sorry to hear and read that people have no money anymore, that they don’t know how to take care of their children, I think that anyone could agree that these situations are awful. However, putting anger and frustration on social media does not help people with their lives. If you struggle with your existence, you can ask for help, and you can also think about your current moment to understand how you can profit from these hard times. It is almost unbelievable for me to read these words that I am writing, because I used to be so negative and hopeless that I never thought I could write an encouraging article.
Changing mindset is complicated, you all know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. Start day by day, one step at a time, and I wish to all of you that your life will get better soon, and not just because 2021 is around the corner.
