Former Expat Life: Do I miss Austria?
Krapfen, Wiener Schnitzel, Nussschnecke…obviously!
In January 2020 I came back to Italy after six years in Austria. I had never felt really at ease in Carinthia, due to many different reasons. I knew it was not the place for me, but I refused to listen to my inner voice which was telling me the truth.
This implies that I do not miss my Austrian life at all. Indeed, there are some aspects that I do miss, but they are related to the fact that I was organizing my life according to the things I had/wanted to do (and those of my former boyfriend as well).
The real hardship was (and still is, until I can afford to move out) to live with my parents again.
My room is not mine anymore. My parents renewed it some years ago, putting a big bed in the middle, and creating a big closet for themselves. I have some little spots where I put my clothes, but it is literally to put one thing on many others. Thanks God I played Tetris when I was younger. Some stuff is still in the garage, because I do not need it now, or they are books and documents that I needed during my studies. There is even some kitchen stuff/memories of my grandmother that I had in Austria and they belong to me, so they are waiting to move to another place as well.
Unfortunately I left/forgot some other things that are mine in the house of my former boyfriend, and I didn’t have the possibility to take them because of the distance. They are not important things, but they obviously were something nice to have.
In a nutshell: There is not so much space for me in my parents’ house, even though I lived here until I was 23. It was not planned to come back home, so actually they did it right to think about expanding their own closet. This means that I do miss a lot living in a place that I can call “mine”. A place in which I have enough space to organise everything.
Even though I am almost 31, my parents still worry too much about me. They never trusted me on many things, which for me is essential, because I am an independent person and also a free spirit. Going a weekend somewhere with my boyfriend? They think I need their permission. I’m sorry, WHAT?
I have to tell them where I’m going out and with whom, I have no privacy when I call someone and so I close the door, as I don’t wish they hear what I say or what other people are telling me.
I do not feel free to be myself, as my parents are quite judgemental. We have opposite mindsets and they are ready to criticize everyone. I miss so much being able to be myself without thinking: “No, mum is going to say something, so better not do this, but this…!” and so on. Sometimes I put my own boundaries to avoid unnecessary discussions.
I don’t have my own “rules” anymore.
Another thing I surely miss is the fact that no one knew me in Carinthia. Even though I wasn’t living in small towns (but neither in big cities such as Vienna), I had no family there, I did not feel someone could judge me. In my small Italian hometown, where I lived all my life except for my expat years, everyone knows my family. Here everyone knows each other. I’m really looking forward to move to Milan surroundings’ area to have my own privacy. I don’t care about what people say, but I do enjoy a lot when nobody knows me. I don’t like the typical mindset of small towns where people know things about you even before you.
As the subtitle states, I miss some Austrian food a little bit. Eating in local restaurants called “Gasthaus” is cheaper than eating in an Italian restaurant, and it’s perfectly ok to ask for a bag in which you can put the food you didn’t manage to finish. It means that you are not able to eat it anymore at that moment, but the next day you can still enjoy their food. I think I’ve never asked to carry with me the remaining food at an Italian restaurant. That’s a pity.
Cultural variety is also an aspect of my previous life that I do miss a lot. I had the opportunity to meet many people from several countries, and it was amazing to take part in some intercultural projects, such as cooking classes, the Diwali festival (yes, I dressed up with a sari), and attending the Villacher Kirchtag (I do have a dirndl waiting for me in the garage). Meeting other cultures broadens your mind and you can really understand how life can be different in other countries.
I was lucky that my university welcomes many international students, and attending the courses of my faculty, English & American Studies, means that also the professors did experiences abroad. I really loved the lectures at the Alpen-Adria-Universität, where I met Austrian, Iranian, Pakistani, Bosnian, Turkish, Slovenian, Russian, Ukrainian, and Italian colleagues.
Hopefully I will be able to travel to Austria again and eat a tasty Wiener Schnitzel. I’d love to move to a bigger town, such as Milan, meet international people, and going to multicultural events.
