How messing-up my 20s is helping me through my 30s

I learnt a lot from my past:

  • I left out many people, even someone I called “friends” or “relatives”. And I do not regret it. I cannot say they are bad people, but they were not right for me. We did not share the same values, for example. Or the same concept of respect. Toxic people are not good for your mind, they take your energy, and give you anger and many unuseful thoughts.
  • Feelings have to be listened, otherwise they will explode. I wondered about my relationship for six months before telling my former boyfriend that I didn’t love him anymore. The fact that we were living together, I was studying at the university, and I had no family to move with, did not help to come to a decision. I repressed my homesickness for years, and it exploded it every time I had to leave my parents and return to Austria.
  • I learnt that I am the only one in charge of my own happiness. I can share it with my dearest ones, and this is awesome, but happiness should never depend from someone else.
  • I can ask for advice, but my choice is MY personal choice. No matter what other people are going to say, even my parents…I decide what’s better for me. No one can know what’s better for you except you.
  • I have to expand my vision, thinking of what I can gain instead of losing, how I can achieve what I want, and what other resources I have and I can employ to achieve my goal. Setting one main goal is great, but also understand that that path is made by different milestones is motivating as well. One step at a time, one success at a time, may help to focus better on your entire vision and not “only” the final achievement in your mind. Also feedback from my friends and boyfriend usually help me to widen my ideas.
  • I ask myself what I want to do in my life. I defined a couple of working fields I think I can fit in, I have several passions, I spend my time more wisely. I ask myself what I want to do today, tomorrow…I plan it and I am very determined in achieving it.
  • I know my worth. I know I will get that job, that I will start that path I have in my mind. I’m working on it. I stay focused and positive that unemployment is a temporary situation.
  • I know I will never stop learning, and I’m fine with it. I changed my concept of learning from repeating stuff by heart into reading and employing the new knowledge for something useful for me.
  • I am grateful for what I have. I see the glass half full, and not only what I don’t have (yet).
  • I know I am responsible for my decisions, for my life, for my happiness, for my present, and my future. When the Universe gives me something, I question myself if that something may be good or not for me before accepting it.
  • Will I ever forgive myself and other people who were not so nice to me? I cannot say it now, the process is surely long. Maybe it’s not so clear to me yet what forgiving really means.




Linguist, yogi, lived in Austria and France, Italian, a little bit nerd, multilingual (ITA, EN, DE, FR), love eating, reading.

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Laura Papavero

Laura Papavero

Linguist, yogi, lived in Austria and France, Italian, a little bit nerd, multilingual (ITA, EN, DE, FR), love eating, reading.

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