How to cope with disappontments
Disappointments represent the outcome of expected things that unfortunately, have not gone well. Every time I feel I was disappointed, I question myself: “Again? No way!”, and I feel I have to set my expectations lower than I did in order not to experience any delusions or failures anymore.
However, it seems to run in circle to me: How is it possible not to set any expectations? Expectations are traits of the human mind, aren’t them?
As I wrote here: Jobless or job-bless?. An opportunity to rediscover yourself I was a little bit disappointed from my previous working experience. However, this hasn’t discouraged me at all.
I knew I had to remove the negativity which had surrounded myself for a while, and what I needed was to spend some time with me and my inner thoughts.
The above mentioned article is a starting point on how to move from a negative situation into a more relaxing perspective, that is, how to find yourself again. Since I feel that I’ve followed a path that my mind has developed in order to rediscover where and what I lost, I’d like to share it with you.
Starting point: to me, the delusion of having picked the wrong job.
If you have recently experienced a disappointment or a failure, focus on “I wish I had…” won’t help you. Since this is the very first stage, just do what it makes you happy: stay with supportive people as family and friends, talk to them, start doing the things you’ve always procrastinated but really makes you feel good.
Second stage: keep yourself busy. Overthinking is not a good idea at all, and the outcome to avoid is to run in circle. If your daily schedule is already busy, then do not forget to take time for yourself. How about meditation, for example?
Disappointment is a temporary feeling: how you feel today will not last forever. Telling yourself to think positive is useless without knowing the previous steps that create the “keep positive mind”. Frankly, I’ve always felt of no use listening “Hey, keep positive!” when I was sad/disappointed/worried/etc. I do think that the keep positive mind is a way that every one of us builds with their own experiences. You only know what makes you feel good, think better, have better outcomes, and think more positive.
The whole world is like: think positive!, but no one actually tells you how to be more positive. This is why you can figure it out on your own and protect this knowledge.
If you have a plan to follow, it means that you went a step further. Indeed, plans are done when you are motivated to do something, to improve your past or current situation. Thinking about your goals, how and when to achieve them and what is necessary to be improved, can be really helpful, as it keeps you motivated to go on.
Launch yourself into something new: if you are lucky enough to have someone (relatives, friends, partner…) in your life who motivates you to go out and do things, accept to do these things!
When you think the time to restart has come, ask yourself what you need: you have a plan, you left your past in the past, but what do you need and want right now? The path to achieve a goal is never linear: it includes ups and downs, changing direction, waiting, running, ask for suggestions…but you can divide the big goal into smaller tiny achievements. Once you have begun to reach them, you will be motivated to go further.
The very last two suggestions: take time to relax and do nothing. Once I reached the restart stage, which for me corresponded to do job interviews and get a suitable job, I understood that I had to rest a little bit. Since I am starting in few days my new job, this week I’ve watched tv series and read: once the battle is over, the warrior need some rest (to be ready for the next battle).
This article is the result of all the stuff I thought and experienced last March. I knew my intentions, I am self-aware, and I reflected on my purposes.
I hope you enjoy this article as well as I’ve enjoyed this path. Please feel free to share your ideas by commenting below.