My Big Fat Southern Italian Wedding: It’s a Family Affair!

5 months to go and the preparation of the big day is going well. However, there are things worth sharing, let’s start!

1. At the very beginning of the chart I have to mention what I should not even mention since it is quite obvious in Italian weddings: it is a family affair! If you do not wish to invite some relatives then it is easier to exclude the whole family. Why? “Because it’s my only sister, you have to invite her!” and even though there has been no contacts for 8 years, I have to send the invitation and pray she won’t come.

My fiancé and I are really struggling to explain the rules, which is actually only one: there is no space for your +1. Even though every American Christmas movies shows that you can bring every unknown person of the whole country, I really hate the fact that I have to introduce myself or my future husband to people we don’t know. Our location also has limited space: if we would accept every +1, we should change the place, which is not even an option to me. The limited space includes 140 people, and I do not wish to invite 160 people so everyone is happy with their +1. Being asked: “Why can I not bring my girlfriend?” by a fifty-something year old who frequently changes his partner is really unnecessary and stupid.

2. How about judgements? Stereotypical Italian weddings usually include a church celebration and then eating at a restaurant. I’m not a religious person and I find it unfair to have a church wedding when you don’t even pray and attend Sunday Catholic mass. My celebration will be a civil wedding in a beautiful green villa and food will then be served in the biggest room of the villa.

Hearing that “you are doing everything different!” just because I decided for something else than your wedding 50 years ago does not mean I am a bad person. Everyone keeps saying: “It’s your day, YOU have to be happy!” but then they keep criticizing your choices. It’s frustrating to hear this from people that should love you.

3. Curiosity: people keep asking the date or they even dare to ask about the dress. If you are not invited to my wedding I do not wish to reveal a lot of things. The dress is also an important topic which is well known to be a secret for almost all the guests. I really do not understand how people dare to ask for details that will be revealed the wedding day.

4. Money, money, money: as soon as you say “wedding” all the prices for flowers, food, ceremony, music and photographer will increase by 50%.

5. Time: My fiancé and I started planning the wedding one year ago, and now the date comes closer and closer. I’m not scared or nervous, I wish only our day would really be OUR day.

6. Details: unbelivable little things to plan since they make the difference!

7. Regrets: If I could turn back time, I would invite around 50 guests, that is, my relatives would all be excluded. I wanted to share our big day with the people who watched me growing up, but since the costs are really high and the family wants to step in between, I would really prefer to invite only our parents, brothers and sisters and friends. Bad luck for me it is now too late and I have to cope with all the things above mentioned. Will I be happy that day anyway? I hope so, I’m going to marry my fiancé!