My previous version of myself would think I’m crazy

If I look back to my previous life, I see a past version of myself who would judge the person I’ve become.

I ended up coming back home after having experienced the freedom to live my life without the restrictions of someone else. I was terrified of this. What I did not realise was that this was better than continuing living a life at which I tried to adapt. Maybe I should have my own life adapt to me.

Obviously there are things you necessarily have to face and you must find your own way to deal with them. At the present moment I am trying to figure out how can I adapt my free time to my new career. How can I still write if I go out in the morning at 7 and come back home more than 12 hours later?

I’m trying to make each day different: when you have a constant in your life the risk is to repeat and live every day like the previous one. But I do not want to live the same day every day, the same week every week, and so on. I’d like that every single day may be worth to be remembered for something. When tomorrow I will think about today, I’ll remember that I was writing these words sitting on the train back home, writing this draft in Italian (my mothertongue) for the article you are currently reading.

Despite your daily tasks, you can do every day something different and be proud you did it. How am I going to keep writing, publishing and reading articles? I’m writing less but more often. It takes me almost one hour by train to reach Milan, so even though it’s early and I’m tired because I wake up at 6 a.m., or it’s late because it’s 7 p.m. and I’m tired as well because I worked the whole day, I decided that I can spend that hour better than just listening to music.

Doing small steps every day is the approach I tend for all the fields of my life: I see the goal, I memorize the peak of the mountain I want to achieve, and I go straight on my path, focusing on the present moment, but always with my goal on my mind. Step by step.

Maybe this is what life gives us: The more you try to sail the sea in the wrong direction, the more the wind will take you back at the shore. And even though now you’re getting angry you’re not going to that direction, it’s because maybe you should try another path.

I blamed myself for my mistakes and I wanted to go on improving my life with a heavy rucksack on my shoulder. How can you go further if you have a huge weight on your back?

Stop blaming yourself for your past: It’s not where you’re going.

Stop blaming yourself for your mistakes: It’s not where you are now. You learnt from them, you tried something and it failed, now you know what did not work. How will you figure out what is going to work for you? Do it better. Follow your purpose but focus on your path to reach that purpose.

Leave your baggage on the floor, be grateful and thankful you carried it so well, but say goodbye to it. Take with you the lessons you learnt from that moments and experiences but don’t let them impede a life full of new achievements.