The “finish what you start” principle

I was born and raised by boomer parents who taught me how important it is to finish things I started. By meaning so, you would surely think: “That’s great! It’s obvious!”. Well, theoretically it is great.

When I left home at 23 to go abroad, it was there where I started giving myself my own rules and timings. I’ve always been as strict to myself as my parents were with me.

I was bullied at school, and changing institute was never an option. When you live by “finish what you start” principle, then there is no option at all, no plan B. It also gives you the bad example that you have to accept every environment you are in, because leaving means only failure.

I experienced burnout at the university, but leaving wasn’t even an idea of mine. Again, no other options than going on. “Have patience, things will go better! You will find a way! You will manage it!”. To be encouraged to keep going when you are totally done means to me only one thing: it is so easy to judge or give advice when it is not about your life. It’s so easy when it is not your mental health.

I experienced burnout other few times after university, due to toxic job environments, but guess what? I kept going until I was not able to sleep anymore, I gained weight, had to ask for psychological help and justify myself at work. Now that I’ve learnt the lesson, I told myself I would not do the same mistakes again, I would save myself before crossing the line. But bills and wedding day are not for free.

The previously mentioned principle has influenced my whole life until today, as I was raised that “it is good so”. Who decides that something is good in your way? When I didn’t want to eat anymore, as a kid, nobody ever proposed to put my food in the fridge for the day after, but I had to finish my meal straight at their pace, and my parents got mad at me if I was not quick enough for their standards.

As an adult, I had to prioritize myself and and my wellbeing and even educate myself for the things my parents obviously lacked.

If you were also raised in this way, please slow down! No need to hurry up!

It is great to reach your goals and have a purpose in life, but this should not cost you your personal life, your mental and/or physical health.

It is great to climb a mountain and look forward to watching the view from its top, but please have some rest during the path.

Allow yourself to start a journey and while going on asking yourself: “Is this what I really want? Am I happy with my path? Is still the goal reaching the top of the mountain, or I’d rather enjoying something else?”.

Allow yourself to do a bit of soul searching. We are human beings and our thoughts can change as we grow up. Changing mind, changing path, start from scratch, that’s all good.