Two years ago I broke up with him…

…and it was one of the best decision I’ve ever taken!

In 2013 I went to Austria for a one-year volunteering project called European Voluntary Service. A couple of months after my arrival I met an Austrian guy and I decided to stay in Carinthia also after the ending of my project (August 2014). I thought I would have found the love of my life, such a lovely and kind person. Little did I know that I would have felt terrible because I wasn’t able to find a job. Homesickness was also a habit that became my best friend. I was in a relationship for more than five years, we lived together and, during my Erasmus in France in 2018, I realized I wasn’t missing him. I understood that I felt good alone, able to take decisions for myself and not just because I was influenced by someone else.

The following six months where quite awful. I came back to Austria in January 2019 and I kept asking myself until June how could I go on with him: I simply didn’t love him anymore. I wanted to stay alone. I cried almost every day, it was hurting so bad to acknowledge that everything I lived with him was going away and I was not available anymore to sacrifice myself for someone else. I became more and more detached from him, I realized that “our” plans were his plans, that we shared a different vision of two people who should not stay together. I lived in his house and I had no family there, such a decision was unfortunately influenced by this as well, I also had to finish the university. I started thinking to the mistakes we both made, and eventually in June I let the bomb explode: I told him crying that I didn’t love him anymore.

Ten days later my parents came to pick me up and took me home. I lived with him until my parents’ arrival, and it was a nightmare, as we argued very often. We tried to keep in touch for several months, but I don’t think he wants to hear anything from me anymore.

It was a relief to tell him what I was feeling: If I stayed with him, he would have suffered, because there was no love anymore from my side; on the other hand, he would have suffered also by breaking up. I understood I had to let him free to find his true love, to find joy in life without me.

People in Italy started asking me if I missed him and I honestly said: “No”. I was actually bothered by his presence, I did not want to spend my life with him anymore, although he is a nice person. I realized he was not the right one for me, and I needed to be single to discover myself again, to become my own priority.

I am happy with the decision I took almost two years ago. It changed my life, as I had to leave everything and (almost) everyone I had. Other people told me we would have been in touch with me, but we did not. I understood who was really a friend and I left out from my life those who did not care. Someone was even mad at me because he is a nice guy and you cannot simply break up with a nice guy who is crazy for you. Well, of course you can if you are not happy! Nobody wants to be in an unsuccessful relationship, even those who still love you.

When I started concentrating on myself I began to think how I could be more positive. Reading, thinking about my and his mistakes, meeting the worst guy ever after three months, making new mistakes, breaking up with him, feeling lonely…all this stuff and more made me going through a path that I am still walking. I listened to relationships experts and read books about relationships, and I understood that I had to be happy with myself before being in a happy relationship. Little did I know that last May I would have met a guy who is almost my male version, and he matches all I look for in a man. Indeed, when I was thinking about who I want at my side (because it is important to know it in advance, so you can compare the person you’re going out with to what you really need and desire in your partner) I figured out I wished for someone similar to me. Currently I am in a happy relationship with my male version and we are looking forward to get a job soon so that we can move together and start our couple life.

You can follow me on Instagram: laura.papavero and let’s see what is going to happen next! (Hopefully something we as a couple are working for!)