When you don’t appreciate yourself, you appreciate no one else
I was grown up surrounded by a frustrating spirit of judging, disapproval and comparing, together with the fantastic: “What other people will think about us?”. Well, I believe everyone has to manage their own bad things in life, and I am quite tired of discovering people who throw on others their own frustration. As a matter of fact, I started noticing in these people the same repeating behaviour: I don’t like myself → I don’t like anyone → you should like no one as well → I even don’t like you → I discourage you in everything you do. This allowed me to understand that I am not the problem. It is important to stress it, because I lived many years of my life thinking and listening to someone who did not believe in me simply because they thought of themselves they were a failure. They have some unsolved troubles inside that rants anger and irritation to whoever they find appealing to discourage, and to their closest people, especially relatives.
If you’re struggling with someone who constantly puts their anger on you, please keep in mind the words above. You are not the problem in their lives, they have issues with themselves. If you’re friend is dating (no matter whether men or women) and they keep complaining about their dates, remember that they are not complaining about other people, but only about their own personal flaws and mistakes which they reflect on the other person. If they do not fell enough for themselves, nobody will be enough for them, and they will continously keep looking for something they should find in themselves…and this means that no one should date until they have healed and feel well with their own company. If you don’t feel good alone, work on it! Don’t start relationships or stay in a relationship just because you would be lonely, you can feel alone even with your partner at your side, which is even worse.
It is quite hard to write this article, as I lived some of these experiences and I learnt from them, but on the other side, I am unfortunately still watching to these self-sabotages and I cannot do anything to help. Indeed, if someone doesn’t want to be helped or even does not recognize that they need some help, you can do nothing. I am tired of hearing complaints or “how unlucky I am, poor me” and I was once this way. I stopped when I noticed that “friends” showed me their pity or they even started complaining about my complaints and they were very hard to me, telling: “I experienced something worse than you!”, thinking that their problem was bigger than mine and this, of course, solves all my issues. Opening your heart to a friend and receiving pity is something I really disapprove. Also opening your heart and receiving hardness is not really good, as you see your issue underestimated by someone who should encourage you to do and think better.
Have you ever faced this issues? How do you react and fight to this negativity?
